Trying to do too much…ever heard of it?
It’s December and the number of stressed and overwhelmed people out there is HIGH. They are the magic makers, the planners, the bakers, the organizers, the list-holders, the “make sure everyone is okay” people. They’re the ones buying gifts, remembering deadlines, keeping the peace, holding up traditions, and juggling work, home, kids, elderly parents and volunteering on top of it all! They have a tendency to want to please people and make everyone happy. I mean if you're hosting who doesn’t want a happy house and for things to go smoothly?!!
And somewhere between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, many are talking with their friends asking: Is it actually possible to get through the season without feeling overwhelmed? A lot of times they come to me and say they did discuss with their friends and they all agree that it is not possible. They say every year it is stressful, and overwhelming, but it is just the way it is.
However, the truth is……….The answer is YES! It is possible, but maybe you can’t do it exactly the way you have always done it doing it all by yourself and staying up till 2am. It truly depends on you and what you want. Do you want to be less overwhelmed? Do you want less stress? Is it possible to have some flexibility about how it all goes or what portions you do to make it all happen? Are you comfortable with delegation? If not, why and could it be adjusted a smidge? And then there’s the let’s talk about expectations and what that means to you, how others around you did it or didn’t do things and all the other stuff!
I hear some things on repeat.
“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”
“Why can’t I do this everyone else does?”
“There’s no rest for the weary.”
“I should be able to handle this.”
“I always heard you can rest later.”
“I was told you don’t need rest.”
“So and so does it in their posts on FB.”
“That’s just what mother’s have to do.”
If you want to keep doing what you are doing and be stressed, overwhelmed, not sleeping, irritated and annoyed that is okay and this post isn’t for you. If you’d like to try something different, I’m going to invite you to give yourself the opportunity to consider that there may in fact be another way and that some of these things I have heard on repeat like “there’s no rest for the weary” are not necessarily true, but just practiced and repeated.
If you like, consider these reminders:
Not everything is for you to do and manage
Good enough is perfectly acceptable sometimes
It’s not necessary to do A work on B things
Rest is necessary
Emotional patterns and outdated beliefs can be adjusted and changed
You get to experience the holiday season too
New traditions can be made
It can be fun
The results are pretty amazing when you release over-responsibility, and set kinder boundaries, with time to rest, and reflect during December and throughout the year.
www.sabrinamuellercounseling.com